Night Terrors

A few days ago I attended a funeral for a young man in town who was killed in a robbery. I didn’t know the guy, but went in support of the family who was suffering a tragic loss. After the funeral, I had so many appointments and errands that I did not return home until after Steele (now 15 years old) had gone to bed.


First let me say that I make it a habit of kissing and hugging my son regularly throughout the day, especially before he goes to sleep. What can I say? I’m an affectionate person. But this particular night, the events of the day were weighing heavily on my heart. I had watched a mother openly mourn the tragic loss of her only baby boy. Regardless of the fact that he was 25 years old, it had me thinking of how blessed and grateful I was to have a happy, healthy child who was safe from harm.

Overwhelmed by my emotions, I tiptoed into his darkened room and bent over him and kissed his forehead. Quietly I whispered, “I love you Baby Bear.”

Okay, not so quietly apparently because suddenly his eyes flew open like retracting window shades and they were flooded with instant terror. You see, at that very moment as he was jolted awake from his deep slumber, my face could’ve only been maybe 4 inches from his. In the seconds that it took his brain to process the situation, his fear involuntarily escalated his movements and he bounced back with mouth wide open and eyes bugged out searching for answers. My instant reaction was to also jump back in reflex…mainly to avoid getting punched in the face. And then he was like, “Who…what are you doing?!?!” And I’m all, “Aww babe, I just came in to tuck you in and kiss you goodnight because I’m so lucky to have you.” His response? “You scared the crap outta me! I’m tryin’ to sleep, ugh!”

So much for tender loving moments. He laid his head back down and instantly returned to his sleep. I walked out of the room, annoyed as usual.

P.S. Kinda weird how I flipped the script on you and went from such a heart-wrenching post to a “reality bites” one, huh? Well, sometimes I think we over-romanticize how certain aspects of our lives should be. These fantasies sometimes come to fruition, but a lot of the time they just leave us feeling slighted or short-changed. I guess the main thing to remember is to count your blessings. Be happy with all that you DO have, even with its flaws. Because there ARE those out there who would give anything to have what you do…an opportunity to show love to someone special, and receive it in return…eventually.

Attitude...It's What's For Dinner

As the old saying goes, “Mothers of teenagers know why some species eat their young.”

Steele: All we have to do is walk by the Starbucks counter and they start making your drink before you even order it!  That’s pretty bad.  You should probably consider getting help for your caffeine addiction. Oooooo banana bread, can I have one of those?

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Me: What are all those stains on your white hoodie?

Steele: DARN those hot Cheetos!

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Me: (getting ready for a business party) How does this look?

Steele: Well, you kinda have a little muffin top goin’ on.
Me: Yeah I need to change to a looser top.
Steele: Or you could do some crunches.

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Steele: (around 8pm) Oh yeah, I need a poster board for an in-class assignment tomorrow.

Me: Why am I just hearing about it now?!  You really need to let me know these things ahead of time.
Steele: But then we wouldn’t get to enjoy the element of surprise.

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Steele: Uh oh.  That awkward moment when mom realizes she’s just like maw maw.

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Me: (belting out a tune at the top of my lungs) It’s time to tryyyyy defyyyyying graaavity, I think I’ll tryyyy, defyyyyiiing graaavity, and you can’t pull me doooown

Steele: Maybe you should stick to singing songs more in your range


Remember back when they were babies and you would say things like, "Oh...he's just so cute and adorable!  I could just eat him up!"  Well, same concept...different context and tone.  Welcome to the teenage years.

An Easy Mystery to Unravel

I don’t know HOW many times I’ve told Steele, “We have a new puppy in the house. Please remember that while he is being trained, we need to take extra precautions and not provide opportunity for him to create mischief.”

“I KNOW, Mom, I know.” This is usually the reply I get, accompanied by an ever-so-obvious-eye roll. “It’s not just a matter of KNOWING…you have to FOLLOW THROUGH.”

I rarely chastise him about his hurricane aftermath inspired choice of bedroom and bathroom décor. Nor do I nag him on a daily basis about tidying up his bathroom. ALL I ASK is that he make it a point to CLOSE THE DOORS to those rooms before leaving the house, ensuring that Benny "the Jet" does not have access to the temptation that exists within them. Simple, right? So why do I come home on my lunch break to find THIS?!

The older dog, Maggie, just sits there on her perch, with that clueless look on her face. I know she egged him on. She likes to see him get in trouble. And he provides ample opportunity to oblige her, believe me.  He has also discovered that people think he's adorable when he carries around stuffed toys in his mouth.  His get-out-of-jail-free-cuteness-toy-of-choice for this incident was his dinosaur.  Well played again Benny, well played.

Well, THAT was an Easy "A"

So, our little family is adapting to our new environment for the school year. Not only is this Steele’s first year of high school, it’s his first year in public school, and there are tons of new things to learn. For instance…correct wording is important!

I submit to you Exhibit “A”, our conversation yesterday evening…

Me: So how was school today? Anything new and exciting?

Steele: Well, I aced a drug test.

Me: a WHAT?

Steele: Today I experienced my first drug test ever. It was pretty cool.

Me: What? What do you mean drug test? Surely they can’t drug test minors without the consent of the parents. That seems a little odd. (Let me interject here that my concern was not for whether or not my child would PASS a drug test, but for what reason they were doing so without notifying parents)

Steele: Well, they did, and I aced it of course. So can I get a little extra video game time tonight as a reward?

Me: Hold on. Are you telling me they had each student pee in a cup under supervision at school today? Was it random, or was everyone chosen?

Steele: They checked every…wait, did you say “pee in a cup”? Why would they make us do that?

Me: For the drug test

Steele: Noooo, they just brought in these really awesome drug-sniffing dogs and walked around all of our desks and backpacks. Why would they make us pee in a cup?

Me: That’s what you DO for a drug test, son. What they did today was a drug SEARCH, not a drug TEST. OMG

Steele: Well, whatever it was, I ACED it!

And yet another small piece of the innocence is lost. Not so much because he was part of a random drug search, but because he expected ample reward for passing a “drug test”. Like an ex-con at a parole hearing. Pray for my sanity people! Amen.

Breaking all the “Cool Mom” Rules

First day of school! First day of school!  So here are the gratuitous shots I got this morning through my sleep-filled eyes…

This was his reaction to my instruction to "look more enthusiastic about your photo being taken"

The only somewhat normal photo I got

This was him telling me he was done with photos for the day

The progressive "eye roll" shot.  I tried to tell him that the proper eye roll is done CLOCKWISE...not counter-clockwise!

Have I mentioned that I LOVE my Canon 40D and it's ability to shoot several frames per second?  Okay, back to the story.


I was filled with pride today as my only son walked toward Bolton High School (Go Bears!) for the beginning of his freshman year. Then suddenly…a thought…THIS, my friends, is a Kodak moment!!!



So I whip out my Blackberry and frantically press the buttons to open the camera app. My heart was racing. What was I doing?!?! My next move could make or break his reputation for years to come. What would he say when he found out?? How could something be sooo wrong when it felt sooo right? So I did it. I threw caution to the wind and snapped a photo of my baby bear walking up to the school. Oh yes I did. Right in front of everyone! I paused for a moment and gazed at my new photographic treasure as the narration ran through my mind. After 14 years of inconspicuous and expert maneuvers, Abby’s efforts were amply rewarded with the coveted cell phone camera shot of the elusive bear cub approaching his new den.

Steele Wilson...freshman bear cub

The line of carpoolers piling up behind me was my cue to flee the scene before being discovered.  I'd like to think that those parents were not annoyed, but beaming with pride at the new frontier I had reached.  The car horns honking behind me led me to believe otherwise.

Oh yeah…I’m THAT mom!

I could have spared his ego this one time…but sometimes it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission.

Little Miss Magoo in her Myopia Utopia

So recently I purchased a new pair of glasses, something I hadn’t bothered with in the last ten years since I primarily wear contacts.  I was chatting with my sister, Alysson, later that day and I was telling her how blind I felt when I could not even see my own face in the mirror 3 feet away without corrective lenses.  Alysson quickly reminded me that she is far worse off than I in that department, being as her prescription is so strong that she is considered legally blind.  Then she reminded me of the “driver’s licensing exam dilemma” which I am more than happy to share with you today.

It was finally Alysson’s turn to get her ticket to freedom by becoming licensed to drive in the State of Louisiana.  Alysson was anxious about her driver’s licensing exam that day and my dad used the drive to the local department of motor vehicles as an opportunity to give her a few pointers.  Dad was like, “The best thing to do is take your eye exam WITHOUT your eye glasses.  That’s what I do.  That way you don’t get any restrictions put on your license.”  (Dad always gets a kick out of “stickin’ it to the man”)

Being the obedient child that she was, my sister who has the sight capacity of Mr. Magoo tucked her glasses away in her purse and walked to the counter for her sight test.  She gazed in the direction of the eye chart and quickly and confidently rattled off the letters.  “oh PEE oh PEE, pee pee oh PEE!” And the DMV lady was all, “Ma’am, its numbers not letters,” so Alysson was like, “Oh okay…zero…” and the DMV lady was all, “Um, no.”  So Alysson was like, “Okay let me just get out my glasses.”  FAIL

Sometimes we see what we WANT to see, not what’s really there.  It’s always better to recognize your weaknesses and take measures to overcome rather than hide them.  One of Alysson’s greatest attributes is her ability to recognize her strengths as well as her weaknesses, and use both to make a difference in the lives of others.

My street cred is dead ya'll

So every Wednesday night, I serve at my church as a youth leader for our Deeper Youth (the high school and college age kids). We have our own worship and church service independent of the adult service that night of the week in the family life center. As usual, the teens file into the gym before service in small clicks and make their way to their preferred places, and I made my way into the gym this evening for supervising and socializing with the teens. My son, of course, was in the auditorium dominating the ping pong tables. I try to give him as much space as possible when he’s with friends…a luxury I apparently deny the teens of other parents.


So I’m standing there, having little conversations with groups of girls giggling on the sidelines as the athletes of the crowd parade around the basketball court doing their best to mimic the NBA All Stars in a half-court game and catch the eye of female onlookers. And the longer I stood there, the more impressed I became with the skills of some of these boys. They were pretty good. I watched them spin, dunk, fake out their opponent, shoot from half court…nuthin’ but net, baby! Immediately I had my favorites…and then…and then…there he was…the underdog…a little tiny thing, who hadn’t yet hit his growth spurt. He was at least 2 feet shorter than all of the other players, but the kid was a great ball player. He faked to the left…faked to the right…they were all over him…he lost his balance, and in mid fall he shoots…swish.

I jumped to my feet like a proud mama at the ballpark. “Great shot! Woohoo! You rock!” Clapping my hands wildly, grinning ear to ear…and then time stopped, or so it seemed. Silence filled the room. The basketball bounced un-rebounded into the corner. It was then that I noticed all eyes were on me…the crazy mom. Who was she and why was she cheering like a banshee on parade? They all had that look, you know, that “What’chu talkin’ bout Willis?” look. (Although THEY wouldn't know that either because they weren't BORN yet when that show was out)

I sat down quietly…playin’ like nothing just happened. But definitely sure that I just lost some cool points. I probably lost cool points for thinking about it in terms of cool points. I don’t guess they do cool points anymore. Is it street cred, or is that over, too?

Apparently there is an age where composure is cool…not fanatical whimsy. Oh well, they’re just gonna have to get over it and deal with this oddity that is me.

Top 10 Things THIS mom wants…

As a single mother of a now 14 year old boy, there are some luxuries in life which I have yet to experience.  Since every motivational coach in the world says you must write down what you want out of life in order to achieve it, I will make my declarations here in my blog…but only the ones that relate to parenting for now…and in a top ten format because it makes a tidy little list.

Top 10 Things THIS mom wants…

10.  A chauffeur…for my son.  This would probably free up 2 hours a day for me.  Just sayin’

9.    To go to the restroom with reading material…and NOT be immediately startled by pounding on the door and the words “It’s really important!” or, “I need to ask you something real quick.”

8.    To not discover a lingering pair of underwear or dirty socks in the room after being reassured that ALL of the dirty clothes had been collected.  Or better yet, to not find clean clothes in the laundry hamper (still on hangers mind you) because it’s easier to add them to the dirty pile than to hang them in the closet.  Or better still, to pull a clean load out of the dryer and not discover candy, change, super bouncy balls or dried up lizards.  Don’t even get me started…I have a laundry list of laundry issues to deal with.

7.    To be able to leave my house without ever EVER having to ask the following questions again:

       -Did you feed the dogs?  Did you give them fresh water?

       -Did you brush your teeth?
       -Did you put on deodorant?
       -Did you change your underwear?

6.    A closed refrigerator door, a bread bag tied closed after use, a toilet seat that’s dry when people sit, an area in the front room clear of boys shoes, ripstick, school bag and the like (I know, I cheated a little here by combining multiple items into one, but can you blame me?  This list is looong baby!)

5.   A new discovery by the government revealing that video games are hazardous to your mom’s mental health, and therefore there shall be a mandated ban enforced immediately.

4.    To make it through a checkout line at the store without being solicited for impulse items

3.    To make a valid point without receiving a conspicuous (and original) eye roll in response

2.    To have a phone conversation sans the peanut gallery interrupting me to offer its two cents

1.   “Dear Ms. Miller, We are pleased to inform you that, through due diligence, hard work, and an impeccable high school transcript, your brilliant son Brandon has earned a full scholarship to our prestigious university for as many years as necessary to complete his post graduate degree.  We would also like to present you with a lifetime supply of chocolate and coffee to express our appreciation for allowing us the privilege and honor of furthering your son’s education.”

Brandon pretending he doesn't want to hug me...but he really does...
he better if he knows what's good for him. :o)

Kickin' It Old Skool

I’ve always been enthusiastic about all kinds of music spanning the genres and styles as they evolve over the decades, a self-proclaimed music aficionado if you will. But in recent years my car radio stays primarily on KLOVE because the music lifts my soul and prevents daily bouts of road rage between destinations. But that local station broadcast has been on the blink lately, so I made a temporary switch to a popular “hits” station to fill the musical void.
 
Um…have I really been out of it that long? Who ARE these people? And why do all of the songs sound the same? It’s like I’m trapped in some Jersey Shore beach club that plays house techno on a never-ending loop until I vomit or pass out from the monotony. Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a good beat and some synthesizers (I AM a product of the 80’s music generation after all, yo!) But puhleeeeeze! What ever happened to variety, authenticity, that one-of-a-kind talent that could be mistaken for none other?

And then this morning I was listing to my regular morning news broadcast while I got dressed for work, and the featured summer concert performer being announced was so HUGE in the current market that there were at least 10 blocks of revelers packed like sardines and screaming like frightened girls waiting for his show to begin. They announced his name over and over again, and I had NO CLUE who he was.

So I walk into the living room where a friend of mine, Laura, was sipping her coffee (she’s visiting from out of town), and I was like, “Laura, there is some guy performing on the morning show who is MAJOR popular right now apparently and I don’t know who he IS! Am I THAT behind the times?” And Laura’s like, “Who is it?” And I’m all, “Some guy named Bulldog who is performing with Neyo.” (Yes…I DID actually know who Neyo was…sort of) And she’s all, “Uh, I think you mean Pitbull, not bulldog.”  So I’m like, “Yeah, that’s it, Pitbull. But what’s the deal with all these “hot” artists who basically just talk into a microphone with house music beats playing in the background? What ever happened to REAL musicians who had REAL talent?  Artists who could play 4 or 5 instruments and melt your heart with their voice? Where are the Santanas, the Eric Claptons, the Jewels?!”  

And then I stopped myself…I think I just became one of THOSE people…my parents. I was staking my claim in “oldies” land by repeating, in not so many words, the same things my parents would say about MY music. “Boy rock-n-roll sure isn’t what it used to be.” or, “When I was young, people actually had talent, they used their music to inspire, not just bop around in weird costumes.”
It’s okay…I’ll come to terms with it soon. And then I’ll just sit back and enjoy kickin’ it “Old Skool” cuz it is what it is, right?

Newer skool than me

I found this link to a sample from a popular 69 year old DJ named Mamy Rock (shown in photo above). DJ MaMyRock 


This lady is way more hip to the times than I am.