A memoir of musings, allegories and adventures covering my inspired life...

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Laughter is the Best Medicine, Just make sure you identify the pill before you swallow it

For real! All of the following ACTUALLY occurred within the last 5 days. At least I’m well practiced in laughing at myself.

Top TEN Reasons I need another VACATION!

10) Passed up my own driveway and pulled into the neighbor’s garage before realizing I was at the wrong house.

9) Pulled too hard when opening a mini bag of pretzels and ended up with salt in my hair…and pretzels in my bra.

8) Was in my car in the bank parking lot talking on my cell phone to my friend Marci and (after dumping my whole purse out on the floor board) I was like, “Awe maaaaan! I must have left my cell at the office. Now I have to go allllll the way back just to get it. Ugh!” and she was all, “Aren’t we talking on your cell phone now?”

7) Was sore from a hard core workout with my trainer and went to sit on the toilet. Misjudged the height, sore muscles gave out, my butt was on the floor, hair clip was in the toilet. I just left it there.

6) Was leaving a house warming party and took off my shoes to walk through the muddy yard on my way to my car. Stepped to the left to avoid a mud puddle, sunk my foot into some poo instead. They don’t have any pets! I don’t even wanna think about whose poo it was.

5) Was leaving a voicemail for a friend and left the wrong name. Luckily she recognized my voice and called me back to pick on me for not remembering my own name.

4) Was on my cell phone with the pizza place ordering dinner while frantically looking through my purse for my “lost” cell phone (yes, I DID do this twice in one week. Don’t judge people!)

3) Was going through the normal morning routine, went to take my vitamin and dropped it on the floor. I picked it up (because the 5 second rule applies for vitamins too), dusted it off and swallowed it. Later, while getting ready for bed, I found my vitamin on the floor. So what in the WORLD did I swallow?!?!

2) Was posting a top ten list...copy and paste is obviously too complicated for me right now so I duplicated one of the list items and now I'm correcting it...anyhoo item number two SHOULD have read as follows:  Poured muscle milk in my coffee instead of half and half...drank it anyway.

1) I was reading an article online about Sasquatch Festival, when all of a sudden office phone rang, and instead of the normal greeting, I read aloud, “Sasquatch Sweepstakes” OMG “I mean Tudor Law Office, can I help you?” *thankfully I knew the person on the line and after a good laugh, we just discussed why we should go to the Sasquatch Fest next time around. Just sayin’
Haha Check out the kid covering her ears in fear
while her parents are all, "Sasquatch Rocks Man!!"


BTW...Just so you know, I totally got confused at least 3 times doing this top ten because I kept forgetting the numbers were SUPPOSED to be counting DOWN and I was correcting them line by line.