A memoir of musings, allegories and adventures covering my inspired life...


Friday, October 19, 2012

Night Terrors

A few days ago I attended a funeral for a young man in town who was killed in a robbery. I didn’t know the guy, but went in support of the family who was suffering a tragic loss. After the funeral, I had so many appointments and errands that I did not return home until after Steele (now 15 years old) had gone to bed.

First let me say that I make it a habit of kissing and hugging my son regularly throughout the day, especially before he goes to sleep. What can I say? I’m an affectionate person. But this particular night, the events of the day were weighing heavily on my heart. I had watched a mother openly mourn the tragic loss of her only baby boy. Regardless of the fact that he was 25 years old, it had me thinking of how blessed and grateful I was to have a happy, healthy child who was safe from harm.

Overwhelmed by my emotions, I tiptoed into his darkened room and bent over him and kissed his forehead. Quietly I whispered, “I love you Baby Bear.”

Okay, not so quietly apparently because suddenly his eyes flew open like retracting window shades and they were flooded with instant terror. You see, at that very moment as he was jolted awake from his deep slumber, my face could’ve only been maybe 4 inches from his. In the seconds that it took his brain to process the situation, his fear involuntarily escalated his movements and he bounced back with mouth wide open and eyes bugged out searching for answers. My instant reaction was to also jump back in reflex…mainly to avoid getting punched in the face. And then he was like, “Who…what are you doing?!?!” And I’m all, “Aww babe, I just came in to tuck you in and kiss you goodnight because I’m so lucky to have you.” His response? “You scared the crap outta me! I’m tryin’ to sleep, ugh!”

So much for tender loving moments. He laid his head back down and instantly returned to his sleep. I walked out of the room, annoyed as usual.

P.S. Kinda weird how I flipped the script on you and went from such a heart-wrenching post to a “reality bites” one, huh? Well, sometimes I think we over-romanticize how certain aspects of our lives should be. These fantasies sometimes come to fruition, but a lot of the time they just leave us feeling slighted or short-changed. I guess the main thing to remember is to count your blessings. Be happy with all that you DO have, even with its flaws. Because there ARE those out there who would give anything to have what you do…an opportunity to show love to someone special, and receive it in return…eventually.