A memoir of musings, allegories and adventures covering my inspired life...

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Well, THAT was an Easy "A"

So, our little family is adapting to our new environment for the school year. Not only is this Steele’s first year of high school, it’s his first year in public school, and there are tons of new things to learn. For instance…correct wording is important!

I submit to you Exhibit “A”, our conversation yesterday evening…

Me: So how was school today? Anything new and exciting?

Steele: Well, I aced a drug test.

Me: a WHAT?

Steele: Today I experienced my first drug test ever. It was pretty cool.

Me: What? What do you mean drug test? Surely they can’t drug test minors without the consent of the parents. That seems a little odd. (Let me interject here that my concern was not for whether or not my child would PASS a drug test, but for what reason they were doing so without notifying parents)

Steele: Well, they did, and I aced it of course. So can I get a little extra video game time tonight as a reward?

Me: Hold on. Are you telling me they had each student pee in a cup under supervision at school today? Was it random, or was everyone chosen?

Steele: They checked every…wait, did you say “pee in a cup”? Why would they make us do that?

Me: For the drug test

Steele: Noooo, they just brought in these really awesome drug-sniffing dogs and walked around all of our desks and backpacks. Why would they make us pee in a cup?

Me: That’s what you DO for a drug test, son. What they did today was a drug SEARCH, not a drug TEST. OMG

Steele: Well, whatever it was, I ACED it!

And yet another small piece of the innocence is lost. Not so much because he was part of a random drug search, but because he expected ample reward for passing a “drug test”. Like an ex-con at a parole hearing. Pray for my sanity people! Amen.