A memoir of musings, allegories and adventures covering my inspired life...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Citizens for Sasquatch Privacy

I’d like to bring your attention to one of The Gambit blog of New Orleans posts this morning, where they shared this fancy little nugget of information through a press release issued as follows:
"Bigfoot Captured on Video in New Orleans City Park

06.27.11 - New Orleans, LA - The New Orleans Bigfoot Society (N.O.B.S.) received a video of what appears to be an unclassified non-human primate in New Orleans City Park this week. N.O.B.S. immediately dispatched a field team who gathered hair and fecal samples from the site of the encounter. N.O.B.S. has sent these samples to a lab for analysis and will update the public on the results as soon as they are available.

You can watch the video footage on the N.O.B.S. website: www.nolabigfoot.com

If this evidence proves conclusive, it will be a major breakthrough in the scientific search for Bigfoot.

The New Orleans Bigfoot Society (N.O.B.S.) was founded in 2001 by a group of Sasquatch researchers and enthusiasts in the Greater New Orleans area. It’s a little known fact that there are more Bigfoot encounters in Louisiana than in any other region of the USA (other than the Pacific Northwest).

Several of our members have had personal encounters with the creature, many of them during the course of N.O.B.S. research. Surprisingly, many verified sightings occur near urban areas and there are several documented encounters that have occurred inside the City of New Orleans (especially in the wild areas of City Park over the last few years).

N.O.B.S. is dedicated to uncovering the truth behind the nature of these creatures, finding evidence of their existence, and revealing it to the world.

There has been a rash of recent sightings in the area including one in New Orleans East (at the abandoned Six Flags) and at least two other verified reports of strange humanoid creatures encountered in City Park. We have also received audio recordings and photographic evidence that is currently being analyzed.

If you have seen or encountered one of these creatures, please contact N.O.B.S. immediately by emailing: sightings@nolabigfoot.com

For interview requests please contact:
Dr. Xavier Jenks, PhD
Research Team Leader
New Orleans Bigfoot Society (N.O.B.S.)
A direct link to the post is here: http://www.bestofneworleans.com/blogofneworleans/archives/2011/06/28/big-foot-real-or-imagined

First of all…OMG!!!!! Sasquatch in NOLA?!?!?! People! Leave him alone! He’s not hurting anyone! I’m sure he’s just trying to pass a good time on Bourbon Street…have a little gumbo, join a second-line parade…

I have to admit, I feel like a blossoming expert on sasquatches after the 2 hour period Sunday afternoon wherein I found myself editing marketing pieces on the couch with Animal Planet droning on endlessly in the room. When all of a sudden, right before me was a 2 hour marathon of a show called Finding Bigfoot. Basically what I know is this, sasquatches DON’T WANT TO BE BOTHERED! They pretty much always run away or hide when spotted, despite their superior size and strength. And also, even though none of the sasquatch info we have can be confirmed to be fact, I'm pretty sure if you are out camping in the woods, and you play Wilson Phillips Greatest Hits in your tent, sasquatches will throw rocks at you…but really, can you blame them?

Second, and most importantly, I’d like to bring mention to the fact that there presently exists (and has for a while) duhn dhun dhun DUHHHHHHNNNNN

The New Orleans Bigfoot Society (N.O.B.S.)

Wha? Are they for real? Because there is a REAL demand for this institution in the big scheme of things.

I think the sasquatches are just gentle giants watching over us as we watch for them. Maybe we have it all wrong. Maybe they are our protectors against the cataclysmic zombie invasion that everyone keeps talking about. People! I implore you! Think about Chewbacca, and what an asset he was to those on his side! Don’t piss off the yetis! Save the wookies! And stop following Big Foot!